Gambling Puns
A land-based casinois the best place for gamblers to entertain themselves during theirleisure. When you visit a casino, you get more than just the thrillof gambling. You meet new people, share life experiences and listento amazing gambling jokes. The fun in a landbased casino is far morethan the fun you enjoy when you’re using an online casino exceptyou’re naturally an introvert. To enjoy your visit to the casino, youhave to contribute as much as you collect. So, don’t just listen toconversations, contribute and tell jokes too. If you don’t know anyinteresting gambling jokes, all you have to do is learn some. Thereare different types of gambling jokes. Some are for poker games, someare for card games, some are for slot machine games and some are forgambling in general. There are even gambling puns and wordplay thatwould blow your mind or the mind of players away.
Top 7 Best GamblingJokes
- Snake eyes is a gambling term and an animal term, too.
- There is an abundance of consultants jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes and gambling puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bet witze you can hear about gambling. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.
- The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you're gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you.
1. The Blonde WhoWon a Motorhome
Gambling addiction puns funny gambling puns clever gambling puns casino gambling puns sports gambling puns good gambling puns horse gambling puns Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic.
One day, a blondelady walked into a restaurant to buy a cup of coffee. While drinkingthe coffee, she noticed a peel and win a sticker. As she peels itoff, she starts screaming “I have won a motor home” overand over again. One of the waitresses in the restaurant tells herit’s impossible for her to win a motorhome because the highest prizethey offer in the restaurant is a free plate of food for lunch. Theblonde lady insists that the prize on the sticker is a motorhomedespite what the waitress says. The noise attracts the manager whorepeats the same thing the waitress said. In a bid to convince themanager that what she won is a motor home, she hands the ticket overto the manager who takes one look at it and screams “W I N A BA”.
2. The Man WhoPlayed Poker With A Dog
This joke is about aman who goes into a bar and finds a dog playing poker. As soon as hesaw the dog, he was surprised and curious at the same time. Since healso wanted to play, he went to the table and sat down with otherplayers. All the players didn’t act funny like there was anythingunusual on the table. As the man sat down, the dealer shared the cardfor everyone on the table including the dog. The dog did everything ahuman would do when cards are dealt to them. The man could no longerkeep his curiosity to himself anymore so he said; “I can notbelieve that this dog is playing poker. He has to be the smartest dogin the entire world”. In response one of the players said; “heis not so smart, he wags his tail each time he is dealt a good hand”.
3. The Mom Who TriedTo Stop Her Son From Gambling
A mother who isworried about her son’s gambling habits goes to the headmaster of hisschool to complain about the issue. The mom tells the headmaster thatshe doesn’t know where her son got the gambling habit from but shewould love it if the headmaster can help with the issue. Theheadmaster agreed to help the boy. The following day, the headmastercalled the boy’s mother and told her that he has cured the boy’sgambling problem. When the mother asked him how the headmasterreplied; “He placed a $5 bet that my bead is false. I permittedhim to pull it to test his theory. After he pulled it and confirmedthat it was not artificial, he lost the bet and had to pay me the $5.I believe he has learned one or two lessons.” In response, themother said “No, he’s not going to learn any lesson. Yesterdayhe placed a $10 bet with me that you would give him permission topull your beard before the end of the week.”
4. Jack Gambles InVagas
During a weekendgetaway in Las Vegas, Jack lost all his money gambling. Things wereso bad that he had to borrow money from another player just to usethe toilet. However, when he got to the toilet, the stall was open sohe didn’t need to use the money for the toilet. He decided to use themoney the other player gave him to play a slot game instead of usingthe toilet. He won some cash. After winning, he took the money to theblackjack table were his luck increased and he won $5 million.Following his big break, he became a local celebrity who was invitedto give lectures from time to time. Each time he went for a lecture,he would talk about how he is looking forward to meeting the man whohelped him win his fortune. He said he intends to share his fortunewith the man. One faithful day, during the lecture, someone in theaudience stood up and said: “I am the one that gave you thecoin”. In reply, the man said “You are not the one I amlooking for. I am looking for the man that left the stall open.”
5. The Boy WhoSwallowed a Quarter
During a game in thecasino one faithful day, a man started screaming “My child ischoking! Help, he swallowed a quarter! Somebody, please help him! Asexpected, one of the players in the casino quickly offered to helpbecause he has ample experience with things like these. The manquietly put his arms around the boy’s tummy and squeezed until thequarter came out. After that, he walked quietly back to his seatwithout saying a word. The relieved and grateful father asked theman; “Thank you so much, are you a paramedic? In reply, the mansaid, “No, I am not, I work for the IRS”.
6. Should We Tip theDealer?
One day in a casino,a player who had a thirteen count hand was arguing with a blackjackdealer. The argument was about tipping. The dealer said it wasimportant for the players to tip the dealers whenever they are dealtgood cards. The player had the opposite opinion. He said that thedealer should not be tipped because they have no control over thecards that are given to the player, whether it is good or bad. Tocounter the payer, the dealer said “do you tip the waiter whenyou eat out? The player said yes. In response, the dealer said “Iserve you cards just like the waiter serves you food. So you have totip me too”. To wrap it up, the player said “okay, but thewaiter always gives me what I want. So, give me an eight.”
7. The Drunk BlondeWho Gambles Naked
One day, a drugblonde from Ireland walked into a casino and placed a bet of $20,000on a single game. Before the dice were rolled, she said to the otherplayers “I hope you guys don’t mind but I usually feel luckywhen I play completely naked”. Without waiting for anyone torespond, she strips naked and rolls the dice. While the dice arerolling, she screamed: “Oh baby, Mama needs some new clothes”.As soon as the dice stopped rolling, she screamed in excitementbecause she won. She hugged the dealers while she was still naked.After that, she wore her clothes, packed all her earnings and leftthe casino. When she stepped out, the dealers stared at each othercluelessly until one of them asked: “what exactly did she justroll?” Another dealer replied, “I have no idea, I thoughtyou were paying attention?”
These are just a fewof the most common gambling jokes. You can tap into your creativejuices and come up with great gambling jokes yourself. Don’t feel badif others don’t find your jokes funny. Just keep trying and you willget there eventually.
The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.
I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.
Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.
I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.
I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.
I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.
I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.
Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?
A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.
Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
Sports Betting Puns
Last week’s snooker jokes are here.
If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
Gambling Lapel Pins
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